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Kimmie's Birthday

Kimmie had a birthday on Friday May 28. Happy birthday to her. We went as a family to La Familia for dinner, it was great. The food there is wonderful. We had a great time. We collectively got her a Kindle. She is an avid reader (great job) and I thought what better gift that that. So thanks to my Mom, Aaron, Kim's parents and Rick and I, I think she was just a little surprised. One day she was looking at the paper at the Sony e reader. I didn't really know much about them, so I asked her, but sometimes my asking questions gives away my thoughts. But it was fun anyway. She has been good for Aaron, she is the best aunt to Haylee and Calan. She plays with them and loves them dearly. Our start with Kim was rocky but she hung in there and I am glad she is a part of our family. We did take pictures but they are in Rick's camera in his car soo pictures to come later.

Another year has gone by

Another May 12 has come and gone. Life does go on, maybe not as we would like it to be but as it is. We all miss her, our children always come to the cemetery together, I think sometimes they worry about me, but I'm ok. Do I like it NO but I know where she is. Natalie sent me an email Saturday and I think John said it the best. I am thankful for their friendship, for their love they have for Meridith. She loved them lots. When she would come home from California she would tell me and Rick how great they were. Here is what Natalie and John wrote, how comforting their words are: Natalie wrote The time and the years are passing and yet we still so vividly remember Meridith and how awesome she is. She is so greatly missed by so many. What a great impact she had on so many lives including ours. I love Meridith and I just wanted you to know that I an thinking of her and of you my dear friends. John wrote: The years pass away but the memory of the loved one remains. The void that's left in our lives cannot be filled. However there is hope that rises with us every morning. We know separation is temporary. Over there just beyond the horizon, a sweet reunion is planned by a loving Heavenly Father. Then, tears will be dried, sorrow will melt away, and the sweet joy of holding once again the one so cherished and longer for will fill the heart with unspeakable joy that will never wane away. The God of Love will see that we will be one again and full of the thrill of eternal union. We shall not want for anything for our hearts will overflow with continuously renewed light and life. On this special day, our hearts join with you to remember and celebrate together the life a remarkable young maiden, Meridith, who briefly came among us and graces us with the sweetness of her pure spirit. With Love Natalie and John. What comforting words they wrote and how I cherish that knowledge.

Planting Flowers

When we built this house we (I) never dreamed about how much work the flower beds would take. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers, l love the colors, but I hate the weeding. I didn't think about how long it would take to pull them and how fast they would grow back. Haylee and Papa picked out 4 flats of flowers a few weekends ago and we planted them. Since then I bought another flat and then Haylee, Papa and I picked up 3 more flats. And we atill have more to buy and plant. Thats the beauty of flowers. Haylee and Papa and Uncle Brett, planted the garden. So far we have tomatoes and onions and carrots. We have peppers to plant today. Life jsut seems really busy to me. Working full time is tough. I love my job though, but sometimes I miss the part time hours. The spring has been really beautiful, I love Texas wild flowers, the blue bonnets were wonderful this year. I love the hill sides when they are in bloom.

Youth Conference

Youth Conference was quite amazing this year. We started planning last year, actually last summer. We talked about what we wanted and how we might be able to accomplish our goals. We wanted the Book of Mormon to become real to them that they might gain a testimony. It turned out well. We were going to Sid Richardson a scout camp and we were spending 2 night there. Its quite a task for 160 plus kids. We put kids in tribes and had couples to be the parents. We started with Lehi leaving Jerusalem (President Vigil Marcia, Brett, Andrew Amon and another young man (I didn't know who he was, I didn't get a good look at him) We then left and drove for about 1 hours to Sid Richardson. The kids walked down to camp (kinds steep and rough for cars) Where they meet back in their tribes and then go ready to go to bed. Girls in one camp area and guys in another. It was cold that night. I took a blanket and sheet but no sleeping bag, I didn't think I would get cold.....BUT I did. I had to go the bathroom n the middle of the night..you guessed it port-a-potties...not my favorite. Mostly I didn't want to get out from under the covers. Finally I did and then I put my sweat shirt on and it wasn't too bad. Got up the next morning and there were kids there with NO coats... Brett and Brittany were there. It was good to see them and see how the lids interacted with them. Gave my sweat shirt to someone that morning because it was COLD.. but it did warm up really fast. We had many vignettes. Each ward was given something to do. Laban and the brass plates, King Benjamin, the tree of life, Ama and Abinadi, Helaman and the stripling warriors. Samuel the Lamanite. We were gong to spend the night again, but the Lord had other plans...the weather it was to get really cold that night. So we came home that night. I am so grateful for a nice warm bed. We had planned on getting the kids up really early and showing a part of the testament, but with plans changing we meet back at the church for lunch and showed the entire movie The Testament. I feel that the reason we came back home was so that the kids could see the entire movie. It was very moving for many of us. The final battle was played out in the gym, after they made swords and shields. As I stood and watched I wondered how they must have felt, not knowing who they were fighting against. Brother against brother, sister against sister, they were just fighting. Evil had become the normal. I don't want to live in that type of condition. Though I feel we may. It then ended with Joseph Smith getting the plates.
Listening to the kids testimonies the next day I knew that the right decision had been made we needed the entire movie, we needed to feel the chaos that they must have felt. We also had snow that Saturday night. What a eventful weekend. I am thankful for the opportunity of being involved with the youth. They help me stay grounded, when I feel like life is spinning out of control I get this glimpse of how these young women testimonies are growing and how they strengthen me, they seem to know when I need it.

Forgiveness

I have thought about this topic quite a bit lately, for many reasons. I don't even know where to begin because its so personal to me. I have always known that you must forgive everyone. Many years ago my ex brother in law, during a summer visit for my niece, kept my niece. He was not my favorite person because of the way he treated my sister. Terri is a very kind hearted person. But Bobby kept Cindy and forced my mom to pay huge legal bills to get her back, which we finally did. I couldn't understand why the Lord would allow him to do that, until one day driving I was listening to a primary tape in the car about Prayer and I realized that even IF I prayed to have her here, (if) he prayed for her to stay there than who would Heavenly Father listen to. SO as much as I hated what Bobby was doing to my mother and sister and even my family (I was traveling back and forth to Austin alot) I would need to forgive him. I can honestly say that I did. It doesn't mean that we are best buds but I don't hope he gets run over or anything like that. Forgiveness is a hard thing for some.

A few months ago another niece did something that was legally and morally wrong to Brett on more than one occasion, without going into detail, it has caused some hard feelings amongst cousins. I don't agree with what she did, and if I were to do anything like that at work I would lose my job, with out question and no chance to say I'm sorry or try to make amends. Brett and I have discussed this several times and he said that he has forgiven her, even though they have not spoken in months. Which I understand, you can forgive someone, even if the opportunity does not present it self to speak to or be around that person. Even if you had the opportunity to be around them, you may not want to put yourself out there to be hurt again. Just before Brett and Brittany moved back here another niece told Brett (I'm paraphrasing) "You out of all people should understand forgiveness, since you need to be forgiven by everyone". Not only was that hurtful, but totally uncalled for. What makes her think that SHE needs to forgive Brett or anyone for that matter to say "Brett I forgive you for driving and for Meridith dying." When Meridith and Brett were in Mexico and they were in the car accident, it was just that an ACCIDENT. I guess for me I know that it was the Lord's plan, does it mean I don't miss her OF Course I DO. When Meridith died Grandma Wade (who is the most wonderful woman I know) gave us a book by Spencer W Kimball "Tragedy or DESTINY?" One of the best books I have read. I helped me to understand many things. Rachel has a really hard time with Meridith's death, she works on it but still struggles with Brett being the one driving. I have on may occasions thought about Meridith's last year here. In about April 2005 Meridith and Kyndall were in a car accident. A car T-boned her on Boat Club Road by the Race Track gas station, she had her window down which allowed her not to be hurt otherwise she could have suffered severe head trauma. Kyndall was with her and they both were fine. After moving to Idaho, Cherie and Meridith drove down to Provo to see some friends while driving Meridith had a blow out, the tire completely fell apart she pulled over and they were fine, but Cherie was with her. Not her time yet. In march driving back from Colorado she and Lon, my nephew, and his fiance almost hit a deer. Not their time. I have thought about this along with forgiveness because people sometimes are mean about what they say and how they say it. Maybe they think that they need justification to feel that way. How sad it is, what is forgiveness, how can we live our life here and not forgive and then expect the Lord to forgive us? He can't and maybe won't. I know that through the atonement we all can be forgiven no matter what...but we must do our part and forgive too. President Uchtdorf gave a talk entitle Point of Safe Return. He makes this statement Are There Points of No Return in Our Lives?
Satan, “the father of all lies” (2 Nephi 2:18), “the father of contention” (3 Nephi 11:29), “the author of all sin” (Helaman 6:30), and the “enemy unto God” (Moroni 7:12), uses the forces of evil to convince us that this concept applies whenever we have sinned. The scriptures call him the “accuser” because he wants us to feel that we are beyond forgiveness (see Revelation 12:10). Satan wants us to think that when we have sinned we have gone past a “point of no return”—that it is too late to change our course. In our beautiful but also troubled world, it is a sad reality that this attitude is the source of great sorrow, grief, and distress to families, marriages, and individual lives.
Satan tries to counterfeit the work of God, and by doing this he may deceive many. To make us lose hope, feel miserable like himself, and believe that we are beyond forgiveness, Satan might even misuse words from the scriptures that emphasize the justice of God, in order to imply that there is no mercy. Satan is the father of all contention, and contention causes such discord. I have notice if you are mad at someone, anything and everything that person does frustrates you even more. I am not in the least perfect, I make mistakes all the time. I know that I have hurt and frustrated many people during my life time. Some I know about and try to fix those, some I may not know about, I may not be able to fix that. What I do know is that we are required to forgive everyone and holding grudges and being mean is not the way to do it. We certainly want Heavenly Father to be forgiving of us. Christ came here and paid the ultimate price, he didn't say I am going to forgive only the people I like or just a few people, when he suffered, he suffered for ALL of us. He paid the ultimate price, his life so that we might return and live with them again. And our families. I want to live my life so that I can return to live with them again. I want to have the blessings promised to me. Does that mean I am perfect, No but I am trying the best I can. Will I make mistakes YES, but I can and will repent, because Christ paid the way for me.

So many thoghts.

Life has been crazy lately with lots going on. We have youth conference in 3 weeks. And we are in crunch time to make sure everything gets done. We have awesome Young Men and Young Women leaders. I am very blessed to work with them. Our theme this year Moroni's Quest. Our wish this year for youth conference is for testimonies to be formed and strengthened. I think of my own testimony of the Book of Mormon and I am grateful that I do have one. I am thankful that it is strengthened everyday. Last year I read the Book of Mormon 2 times with in about 6 months. That was a record for me. But it gave me such a different outlook and understanding. We will be praying for NO rain in March because we will have yucky conditions since we will be camping out. I am thankful of the time frame in which I was born. I am thankful for showers and washers and dryers all the luxuries of life that we do enjoy. I appreciate all the pioneers did for us, but I am ever so grateful that I don't live in that era.