April 27,2011 Lots of random thoughts

Life seems to be speeding by. It seems that I can't keep up. I have had so many thoughts on my mind and yet am not quite sure what to say. This year in our Young Single Adult ward in the I attended the Sunday school that was on family history. I started thinking alot about my family. Who am I most like and since I have both sets of my grandparents deceased what do they think? Are they proud of the person I have become. I have done anything that they would be embarrassed about or even disappointed about? I feel this need to have my grandparents sealed together with my 2 aunts that have passed away. I talked with my grandmother's sister. Her name is Janet, it was very interesting to talk to her. I am so glad that years ago when I got a phone number of one of her nieces that I kept it. She gave me some insight on my grandmother, even though she was quite a bit younger than her.
I have 4 siblings that I don't really even know. My father remarried and they had a son and then a set of triplets, 2 boys and a girl. I have spoken to 2 of them several times since I found them about 18 months ago. I am glad that we have begun a relationship it is exciting to get to know them better.
We are preparing for Young Women's camp again and we are excited about how it is coming together. Our theme is "Its a jungle out there" and we are using the Young Women's theme of the 13th article of faith as a guide. Each ward is a animal with the stake leaders being the zebras. I am so thankful to have served as in the Stake Young Women's presidency for so long. We have a great presidency. I have learned so very much for the other sisters that I have served with. Their example has strengthened my testimony so very much. There are times that I struggle with life in general, just like everyone, but the gospel is what gives me the strength and courage to continue. I want to return to live with my family, as crazy as it may be.
We had a lesson on honesty in Relief Society, Jessica who taught the lesson did a great job. I think about Rick's description of a lie. Saying something with the intent to deceive. When you think about it that way it gives a different perspective. Do you says something about someone else that somewhat true not not entirely? Do we says things that make us look good and someone else look bad? And if so why? Is it because we don't like that person, or ourselves.
What do we really think Christ has done for us, and we really want to be the cause of his suffering? I had someone tell me something about a person, they feel that this person like drama. You know family drama to keep it going or at least to hear all the family gossip. I had to stop and think, do I contribute to that pot stirring. I had to think about what I might say about someone else. Would I say that to them, you know interestingly enough I would. I guess I prefer for others to be honest to me that to sugar coat it. I did have a young women who is now in the singles ward tell me recently that she enjoyed it when I spoke. That I would tell them honestly and share my personal stories and feelings. I am thankful that I knew that I had been honest with them at all times.
I know that this is very random but I figured that I better write down some of my thoughts while they are still there. I wish I had a journal of any of my relatives so that I could read of their feelings and struggles. OK I know that I am getting older so some of the things that we have been told to do all along is now making sense to me.

Busy Days

I can't believe it almost March. Life seems to be getting busier and busier. My mom says I never get any rest. Sometimes I agree, but for me its always better to be busy. At the beginning of February we had several days of Ice and Snow. It was crazy. Rick went to San Diego the day it started and came home on that Friday. I stayed at my Mom's and it was a good thing, the roads out here in our neighborhood were a mess. Fortunately I made it to work each day safely. In January our 3rd grandchild was born..Reagan Mckay Petty. He is so cute and cuddly. We are very blessed to have them here with us.

Such a sweet family.

Brittany watches Haylee everyday, and since Reagan has been born my mom comes over and helps out. My mom loves it.

Rick surprised my this past week and we flew to San Antonio to see the play Wicked. It was great and I loved it. Rick is not a real lover of musicals so for him to plan and surprise me made it even more special.

As our Young Women's Presidency in our Stake, we have been preparing for Girls Camp. We have a great Camp Director and Assistant Camp Director. They are doing an awesome job. Our theme this year is "Its a Jungle out There" We have 10 wards in our stake and we are naming each cabin a animal that goes along with the Youth theme which is the 13th Article of Faith. We are excited about young women's camp. The week after camp we will have youth conference. We are centering our theme around the temple. We have amazing youth in our stake. We of course like every other stake we have our challenges but we are trying to help them see how to follow the Savior and have a desire to return to Heavenly Father.

I have started doing some genealogy, I guess that it is becoming my season of life. I have a desire to find out about them and understand how our family dynamics play into who I have become. I know my grandparents (both of them) were strong people. I spoke to my great Aunt Janet. I have never meet her, she is my grandmothers younger sister. My grandmother died over 50 years ago. I wish I could have known her, I wonder how different our life would have been.

I had to teach Relief Society on sacrifice. How much are we really willing to sacrifice to return to live as families and with Heavenly Father? We do not live in the time when we are required to sacrifice our lives. What we in this generation have a hard time with is giving of our TIME.. we have become a instant gratification society. Everything is at the touch of a button, and so many people can not put their phones down. Whether it is email, texting facebook. They feel a need to constantly being connected. For 3 hours on Sunday's we should be able to devoted that time to the Lord. I see so many answering texts and emails. We need to be willing to devote time to the Lord, is that a sacrifice? What are we willing to sacrifice?

32 Years

On December 15 we celebrated or 32nd anniversary. What a journey it has been. I am so blessed to have Rick in my life. I know he loves me and I love him. When we started our journey together we started it out right. In the temple for time and all eternity. I can not imagine thinking that when we die I would not be with him forever. Our family is an eternal family. There are many things I am thankful to Rick for, his humor, his work ethic, his ability to be a tinker fairy(Haylee calls him that) because he can fix anything. His faithful service to the Lord, being worthy to give blessings, taking me to the temple to be married so that we are an eternal family. Rick is a wonderful husband, friend and provider. I am not a eloqunet writer, my heart feels, and my head just can't put it into words. I love you RICK.

Its been a while

Its been a long time since I have written anything. I think about it frequently but I can't seem to find the right words or make the time. We have had 3 car wrecks with in the last month or so. I actually had 2 of them. One Sunday leaving church going the the relief society luncheon one the Young Single Adults hit me, nothing to major. Exchange insurance info and we both went to the luncheon, the next week Brett and Brittany and Calan were in bad car accident. That morning driving to church (I drive about 40 minutes) Rick is already there so I go by my self. I was listening to a CD and I had the thought of our 4 children. The thought came to my mind so very clearly of Rachel standing in the middle with Aaron and Brett on either side of her as she spoke at Meridith's funeral. I know someone might say how could think about all 4 of them. Meridith was there in front of them, and the thought came to me that there is not anything that the 4 of them can not accomplish. Meridith is there cheering them on, wanting whats best for us all and wanting us to return to be with her. Its hard to write my feelings on this. I can't seem to put down the right words to make it seem as real as it was to me driving to church. Then I came home and was sewing something and the phone rings. Rick answers the phone and tells me that they have been in a car accident. My heart just drops. Car accident, please not another one, is everyone ok? The thought of losing another child is unbearable. . I know that I would have to find the strength but how.... then we got to them and I see them standing and then I see the car. Then I see Aaron and Kim, I think how strange for them to be there. Peggy Heap a friend of ours saw Brett and Brittany and stopped. What a relief for her to be there for the support as she put her arms around me I know she understood my feelings of another car accident. Here in one blink of an eye I could lose 4 family members. What a terrible thought that would be. Thankfully everyone is doing fine. Rachel and Haylee came up there, it scared Haylee, for her the only thing she knows is that a car accident is bad and that people die. But we reassured her and then they left. The next weekend I hit a deer. I was so frustrated, I had to teach Relief Society that day on faith.

Faith, its my faith that carries me through these extremely tough times. Its my faith that lets me know I have a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who loved me enough to die for me. Its my faith that allows me the knowledge that I will one day be reunited with Meridith. I am grateful for that knowledge. There are days that I so struggle with everything, and I wonder what am I suppose to learn..I just don't know. I was talking to a very dear friend the other day and I said is it patience that I am suppose to learn, IF so THEN I must not be getting it. It seems that I am tried over and over again. BUMMER.

Today was testimony meeting at church. It was really good. We have some amazing YSA's. Some have had real struggles and trials, but have managed to figure out what's important and be where they should be. I often wonder why I am there, except I know that Rick is to be there. He is really good with them. I know that my testimony is being strengthened. Its been good for me to see that there are YSA out there who do stay on the right path, even though its tough.

My thoughts on this past week

This past week has been rather interesting. I have had many opportunities for personal reflection. What makes one person come to hate another. How did Cain hate Abel his brother? Why did Laman and Lemuel hate Nephi? How did their parents deal with it? Why does Satan work so hard to destroy relationships? These questions I have been wondering about for a long time not just this week. A week ago last Sunday started my reflection we had a wonderful Sacrament meeting. One of the speakers was Alisha, she spoke about temples and the covenants that are made. She did an amazing job. She had not gone to the temple yet, but she did on Thursday. What an amazing experience it was. I have gone to the temple many times, but for some reason this time had more of an impact on me. Maybe it was because I had several thoughts that I needed help from the Lord on and I was humbled and more teachable. But as I sat there in the session the spirit was amazing. As I watched this young women who made a choice to go to the temple, not because she is going on a mission or getting married but because she wanted the blessings that the Lord has promised us all. Then to attend the women's conference Saturday night and hear President Monson speak and feel his love and his amazing spirit. Then on Sunday Alisha taught Relief Society, about judging others and how hard that is. She gave person examples of her life and how difficult it was for her. She spoke about how for many years she was inactive and how during that time she made many bad choices. I saw and felt how the atonement of Jesus Christ really has the healing power and how it can if we let it can change our life. What an amazing opportunities I have had being in the Young Single adult ward to see and be with these amazing adults. Its not like they don't struggle they do, but it is how they deal with it. I am so thankful for the blessings of the gospel. I truly don't know what I would do with out it. I know that it keeps me grounded when all the rest of my world seems to be crashing down around me. I guess that is why the scripture in Helaman 5:12
12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall

That is my favorite scripture because I know Satan will try hard to make you fail.

What would you do if you had 1 year to live

This Sunday I attended a fireside with Paul Cardell. I had never heard of him, but it was for our Young Men and Young women and they invited the Young Single Adults. I went and I was very touched.

“You have been born at this time for a sacred and glorious purpose. It is not by chance that you have been reserved to come to earth in this last dispensation of the fullness of times. Your birth at this particular time was foreordained in the eternities. You are to be the royal army of the Lord in the last days. You are ‘youth of the noble birthright’ President Benson told the youth this many years ago. I know that this is true. And sometimes its difficult to understand why things happen and what am I to learn from this.




I have had so many thought and feelings lately and I just don't know where to begin or how to put them in words.

Life is not always how you plan, and it most certainly is not easy. I have learned in my short life (haha) that its tough. Sometimes life seems to go ok, but you better hold on to your hat because a storm is coming. I think of this wonderful lady that I know. I was her visiting teacher and I loved her. She was my daughter's young women's leader and I at one time was her daughters young women's leader. I learned so much from her. She died in a car accident many years ago. I miss her, her testimony and faith were amazing. She was a wonderful example to me. She had 4 children whom she loved and cherished. I loved visiting her, she was my friend we could talk for hours, I know that she would have loved to remain here to have seen her daughter get married and her beautiful grandchildren to see her son go on a mission and his family, but that was not what the Lord had in mind for her. Some may ask why? We don't know but this much I do know. I know where she is and where she will end when we all face the Saviour. Does this mean that she didn't have trials, NO she had her very own, but her faith carried her through he rough times.

Today at work Haylee called and asked if Grandma could pick her up. Oh how I wish I could. I was able to yesterday because I went into to work at 0400. We have been teaching 2 different classes this week one on how to work gates and one on how to work at the ticket counters. Today we all brought food for Taco Salads (very yummy and I have a super husband who cooked the meat after I left for work today and bought it to me. Thanks sweetheart) So one of the guys said grandma no way. I have Haylee and Calan's picture on my desk and yes this are my grandchildren. And then I said and these are my kids. I have the last picture of our children together on my desk. They asked about the ages and then some knew about Meridith's death some didn't so they asked what happened. As I talked about her and the how the things unfolded here in Tx and in Mexico I was reminded again that the Lord had a hand in all of that. I know that Meridith chose to leave this earth. I know that her time was completed here. Does that mean I don't miss her, of course not, but I will say that it makes me want to do my best so I can to see and be with her again. She had so much love for her siblings. She knew her purpose and fulfilled it. I know that she is on the other side pulling for her family.

Blessings from Christ

Forgivness is hard to give and sometimes hard to receive. I am grateful that Christ loves me enough to forgive me for my sins and short comings.