When we spent time in Brussels with John and Natalie our conversations would alot of times end up talking about Meridith. I think it was really good for Rick, he shared with them different thoughts. He worried that it was awkward for them, they of course assured us it was not. But it has certainly given me time to reflect on the different stages of our lives. Different things that have happened and things that have been said or done. For those of you who know me, know that it is very difficult for me to let anyone help me, or to ask for help. John and Natalie moved down the street from us in the late summer of 2005. When Rachel had Haylee, and we were in Argentina with Brett, Rachel called Natalie late one night when she needed some reassurance, and a mother's love. Some may think that was a conscience, but I know that we have a loving Heavenly Father. When Meridith died John was our home teacher and he came as soon as he heard. Natalie came everyday to do what ever need to be done here at our house. I know they moved to Texas for a reason and maybe it was for more than one but I know that the Lord knows what we need.
Today I have been asked to teach a lesson in Relief Society in the singles ward. The lesson is from conference 2009 Robert D Hales Seeking to Know God, Our Heavenly Father and his Son, Jesus Christ. It has certainly given me time to reflect on my own testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I'm not sure when I gained my testimony, but I know that I am most grateful that I have one. I think that when people chose to not follow the teachings then they flounder in life. Some who have never had the gospel, when found they never let go. Others may let let it come and go in their lives when its easy. I read about someone who's family joined the church and so did she, but she said that one day she would like for it to be important in her life again, when she was not so selfish. I was surprised by that statement. Maybe I should be, but for me I know that God lives and that he loves us. I know that Jesus Christ suffered and died for each of us. Not just for me but for everyone. I know that even when someone hurts me deeply that I can't blame God or Christ, whether they are in the church are family or friends. I still need to forgive them, how ungrateful would I be if I didn't and then expected Christ to forgive me of all that I have done, knowingly or even unknowingly. During these last few months as I have read the scriptures I have tried to understand how people get sucked into the pride cycle, how do they let their testimonies wither. I know that I am blessed to know that God lives. I know that I can not be too careful with that knowledge. Satan will certainly use every force and deception that is out there to try to ensnare all of us. I struggle daily with that. Why can't he just leave us alone. I know why...we are a force of good, we can and do make a difference in each others lives, like wise if we don't follow what we know or even believe is true then we are falling right into Satan's trap and he will win.
Hopefully today I will have the spirit with me as I try to teach that we truly have a Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ who really loves us.