Several years back the bishop at the time challenge each of us to pray everyday. It is something we should all do. I really took his challenge to heart. I did just what he asked. I knew that I was blessed for it. I was able to handle challenges that came my way. My testimony grew, it was a good opportunity for me. When Brett went off to school and he faced challenges. I knew the Lord was there. When Aaron left on his mission and then came home, as hard as that was I knew that the Lord was there for us. When Meridith went off to school and got lonely and had a couple of roommates that were not really following the standards, I knew the Lord was there.
(When Rachel was at BYU-I she lived in Nauvoo House they had a picture of a temple in every room and a picture of Christ and Joseph and Emma Smith(I think) in the living room.) Pictures of the Savior can help bring a good spirit into your apt, so I asked Meridith "do you have a picture of Christ and a picture of the temple" She did not. I told her that all her life she had those daily reminders around her and that she needed to have those comforts now. My mother and I flew up there to give her love and support. Rachel would have gone to but she was having a high blood pressure issue that needed to be seem by the Dr. Thanks goodness she didn't go. The Lord again blessed me with a feeling that she did not need to go. It would not be safe. When we went to Idaho, we went and bought a picture of Christ to hang over the TV in the living room and this sweet picture of children in front of the temple.
That brought her much comfort and peace in her apartment. Deisha one of her roommates told Meridith that she has taught her so much this one semester than she had learned the year before.
I realize that these last couple of weeks as I have struggled it is a reminder that I need to ask Heavenly Father for help. To be reminded that I can not do this alone. I realize that my problem these last couple of weeks are CHOICES. CHOICES that I can not control, and not knowing how to handle it. SO my favorite saying is If you don't like something change it, if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
Today in Sunday school Sister Fowler read my favorite scripture Helaman 5:12
12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
I have to remember that I have built my testimony on a sure foundation. One which has been built over many years. That has carried me through the difficult times in my life. I know that the church is true. there is no doubt in my mind this is not a belief but a knowledge.
That we have a true and living prophet today on the earth. That Heavenly Father loves us enough to make sure we still have a prophet to guide us today. My testimony is never wavered. I know that Satan still works hard on me. I know that he tries to make me lose faith. But because I know that Jesus Christ is real and that He died for our sins and that he willingly gave up his life for us, brings comfort.
I know there are times when Satan works harder on me, I sometimes feel like he waits for me to question why? Why does A choose not to go to church. Why did Brett get so sick? Why does a friends son choose the the wrong friends and do things that can hurt him? Why do we have young women who move out of their homes to live with a boyfriend that won't be there in a year. Why can't they see the future. Why did Meridith have to die? When she was so full of life and had so much to offer. Good thing we have faith so that as these trials come for all of us(and they will come) we can know that Heavenly father is there for us. I do know this I am grateful for the reminders that I have been given this last week. (sorry for the ramblings I just needed to get it out)