32 Years

On December 15 we celebrated or 32nd anniversary. What a journey it has been. I am so blessed to have Rick in my life. I know he loves me and I love him. When we started our journey together we started it out right. In the temple for time and all eternity. I can not imagine thinking that when we die I would not be with him forever. Our family is an eternal family. There are many things I am thankful to Rick for, his humor, his work ethic, his ability to be a tinker fairy(Haylee calls him that) because he can fix anything. His faithful service to the Lord, being worthy to give blessings, taking me to the temple to be married so that we are an eternal family. Rick is a wonderful husband, friend and provider. I am not a eloqunet writer, my heart feels, and my head just can't put it into words. I love you RICK.

Its been a while

Its been a long time since I have written anything. I think about it frequently but I can't seem to find the right words or make the time. We have had 3 car wrecks with in the last month or so. I actually had 2 of them. One Sunday leaving church going the the relief society luncheon one the Young Single Adults hit me, nothing to major. Exchange insurance info and we both went to the luncheon, the next week Brett and Brittany and Calan were in bad car accident. That morning driving to church (I drive about 40 minutes) Rick is already there so I go by my self. I was listening to a CD and I had the thought of our 4 children. The thought came to my mind so very clearly of Rachel standing in the middle with Aaron and Brett on either side of her as she spoke at Meridith's funeral. I know someone might say how could think about all 4 of them. Meridith was there in front of them, and the thought came to me that there is not anything that the 4 of them can not accomplish. Meridith is there cheering them on, wanting whats best for us all and wanting us to return to be with her. Its hard to write my feelings on this. I can't seem to put down the right words to make it seem as real as it was to me driving to church. Then I came home and was sewing something and the phone rings. Rick answers the phone and tells me that they have been in a car accident. My heart just drops. Car accident, please not another one, is everyone ok? The thought of losing another child is unbearable. . I know that I would have to find the strength but how.... then we got to them and I see them standing and then I see the car. Then I see Aaron and Kim, I think how strange for them to be there. Peggy Heap a friend of ours saw Brett and Brittany and stopped. What a relief for her to be there for the support as she put her arms around me I know she understood my feelings of another car accident. Here in one blink of an eye I could lose 4 family members. What a terrible thought that would be. Thankfully everyone is doing fine. Rachel and Haylee came up there, it scared Haylee, for her the only thing she knows is that a car accident is bad and that people die. But we reassured her and then they left. The next weekend I hit a deer. I was so frustrated, I had to teach Relief Society that day on faith.

Faith, its my faith that carries me through these extremely tough times. Its my faith that lets me know I have a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior who loved me enough to die for me. Its my faith that allows me the knowledge that I will one day be reunited with Meridith. I am grateful for that knowledge. There are days that I so struggle with everything, and I wonder what am I suppose to learn..I just don't know. I was talking to a very dear friend the other day and I said is it patience that I am suppose to learn, IF so THEN I must not be getting it. It seems that I am tried over and over again. BUMMER.

Today was testimony meeting at church. It was really good. We have some amazing YSA's. Some have had real struggles and trials, but have managed to figure out what's important and be where they should be. I often wonder why I am there, except I know that Rick is to be there. He is really good with them. I know that my testimony is being strengthened. Its been good for me to see that there are YSA out there who do stay on the right path, even though its tough.

My thoughts on this past week

This past week has been rather interesting. I have had many opportunities for personal reflection. What makes one person come to hate another. How did Cain hate Abel his brother? Why did Laman and Lemuel hate Nephi? How did their parents deal with it? Why does Satan work so hard to destroy relationships? These questions I have been wondering about for a long time not just this week. A week ago last Sunday started my reflection we had a wonderful Sacrament meeting. One of the speakers was Alisha, she spoke about temples and the covenants that are made. She did an amazing job. She had not gone to the temple yet, but she did on Thursday. What an amazing experience it was. I have gone to the temple many times, but for some reason this time had more of an impact on me. Maybe it was because I had several thoughts that I needed help from the Lord on and I was humbled and more teachable. But as I sat there in the session the spirit was amazing. As I watched this young women who made a choice to go to the temple, not because she is going on a mission or getting married but because she wanted the blessings that the Lord has promised us all. Then to attend the women's conference Saturday night and hear President Monson speak and feel his love and his amazing spirit. Then on Sunday Alisha taught Relief Society, about judging others and how hard that is. She gave person examples of her life and how difficult it was for her. She spoke about how for many years she was inactive and how during that time she made many bad choices. I saw and felt how the atonement of Jesus Christ really has the healing power and how it can if we let it can change our life. What an amazing opportunities I have had being in the Young Single adult ward to see and be with these amazing adults. Its not like they don't struggle they do, but it is how they deal with it. I am so thankful for the blessings of the gospel. I truly don't know what I would do with out it. I know that it keeps me grounded when all the rest of my world seems to be crashing down around me. I guess that is why the scripture in Helaman 5:12
12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the arock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall

That is my favorite scripture because I know Satan will try hard to make you fail.

What would you do if you had 1 year to live

This Sunday I attended a fireside with Paul Cardell. I had never heard of him, but it was for our Young Men and Young women and they invited the Young Single Adults. I went and I was very touched.

“You have been born at this time for a sacred and glorious purpose. It is not by chance that you have been reserved to come to earth in this last dispensation of the fullness of times. Your birth at this particular time was foreordained in the eternities. You are to be the royal army of the Lord in the last days. You are ‘youth of the noble birthright’ President Benson told the youth this many years ago. I know that this is true. And sometimes its difficult to understand why things happen and what am I to learn from this.




I have had so many thought and feelings lately and I just don't know where to begin or how to put them in words.

Life is not always how you plan, and it most certainly is not easy. I have learned in my short life (haha) that its tough. Sometimes life seems to go ok, but you better hold on to your hat because a storm is coming. I think of this wonderful lady that I know. I was her visiting teacher and I loved her. She was my daughter's young women's leader and I at one time was her daughters young women's leader. I learned so much from her. She died in a car accident many years ago. I miss her, her testimony and faith were amazing. She was a wonderful example to me. She had 4 children whom she loved and cherished. I loved visiting her, she was my friend we could talk for hours, I know that she would have loved to remain here to have seen her daughter get married and her beautiful grandchildren to see her son go on a mission and his family, but that was not what the Lord had in mind for her. Some may ask why? We don't know but this much I do know. I know where she is and where she will end when we all face the Saviour. Does this mean that she didn't have trials, NO she had her very own, but her faith carried her through he rough times.

Today at work Haylee called and asked if Grandma could pick her up. Oh how I wish I could. I was able to yesterday because I went into to work at 0400. We have been teaching 2 different classes this week one on how to work gates and one on how to work at the ticket counters. Today we all brought food for Taco Salads (very yummy and I have a super husband who cooked the meat after I left for work today and bought it to me. Thanks sweetheart) So one of the guys said grandma no way. I have Haylee and Calan's picture on my desk and yes this are my grandchildren. And then I said and these are my kids. I have the last picture of our children together on my desk. They asked about the ages and then some knew about Meridith's death some didn't so they asked what happened. As I talked about her and the how the things unfolded here in Tx and in Mexico I was reminded again that the Lord had a hand in all of that. I know that Meridith chose to leave this earth. I know that her time was completed here. Does that mean I don't miss her, of course not, but I will say that it makes me want to do my best so I can to see and be with her again. She had so much love for her siblings. She knew her purpose and fulfilled it. I know that she is on the other side pulling for her family.

Blessings from Christ

Forgivness is hard to give and sometimes hard to receive. I am grateful that Christ loves me enough to forgive me for my sins and short comings.

August 8,2010

Lately I have had so many things on my mind. I think about writing them down and I just can't seem to put it into words that might make sense to any one else but me. So much has happened this summer and I just haven't felt like writing about it. Young Women's camp this summer makes me wonder how many of these girls may stray for the path that will lead them to eternal life an happiness. Today I was reading Jenny Phillips book on staying on the path and I came across this quote
Neil A. Maxwell said: “Certain supernal spiritual blessings seem to come only after demonstrated obedience.”

Sometimes it seems as if those off the path are having a great time—that their lives are happy and exciting. These are deceptions of the adversary whose pathway always leads to unhappiness, guilt, loss of confidence, disease, addiction, enslavement, destruction, lust, weakness, regret, and sorrow. If not immediately, these things will eventually follow Satan’s path. On the other hand, the Savior’s pathway always leads to happiness, to peace, to life, light, progress, strength, love, confidence, and joy. If not immediately, those things will follow. We don’t always feel the full effects of the path we choose immediately. Otherwise, there would be no test. We have to exercise faith in the way we choose.

I cannot tell you brothers and sisters the blessings that come from obedience to the Savior Jesus Christ. I have felt those blessings in my life when I have obeyed Him. The only way to true happiness and life is to not just to believe in Christ, but to have trust and faith in him by “living” what we believe.

I have thought about that alot. I have felt that way. I see many who want the things that Christ teaches but just can't stay on the right path long enough to realize that, that path is what brings true happiness. I'm not saying that its easy, in fact sometimes its down right hard, not because of what is taught but the world tells us that stupid or its just not a big deal.

Take virtue, he world tells us that we should do what ever we want. That there is no reason to live a virtuous life. That we only have this life an nothing else. That is totally not true, and I am so grateful to know that. Satan is really good at that...live now that's all there is. That's because he made his choice.

I was talking with a friend of mine, someone whom I really admire. She told me about a woman who is married and been through the temple. When they go on vacation they take a vacation the covenants that they have made. I guess for me I don't understand. But I have seen many others who do that as well, when the occasion seems to arise and they want to wear something that isn't within the standards. How can you think that the Lord can bless you when you chose to disregard the covenants you have made. The world and its vales seem to draw you away. What do you expect from the Lord. Do what ever you want here and expect the Lord to bless you when you need it or when you want it. I guess I don't think he works that way. Don't get me wrong I know that I can never repay Christ for what he has done for me. Except for to keep striving to return to him, by doing the best that I can. There are days when I struggle. I often wonder why do some remain faithful and some fall away, even in the same family. Sometimes we need to remember we must be obedient even when its tough. Being obedient shows Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that we do love them.

Young Women Camp

This year at camp our theme was There's no place like home. What we wanted each girl to know is that they each have the power to return home. They each have the Holy Ghost to help them on their journey. Marie taught them on the power within. I taught on following the path, Bev taught about being the Queen. We used many different themes from the Wizard of Oz. Hoping the young women could see how by their choices can make a difference of how rocky the path may be. I think of these girls and can see from my own experience and others that I love what a difference those choices will make. Satan is real and running rampant, trying so desperately to pull down as many as he can. I see how quickly things can get out control. We have some amazing kids in our stake, I look around and realize that there is not one person that does not have struggles of their own. We often are on the outside looking in and think they have it so easy, but in reality they have their own Goliaths to battle. Each one of us battle our own, some days we feel like we are winning some days we feel like we are losing and its so hard on those losing days to keep going, but that is exactly what Satan is counting on.

Baby Reggie

Baby Reggie is here. Andrea and Yoho had their baby. Its so exciting for them... Congrats and such a pretty Mama and beautiful baby.

Merina's wedding

Meridith's best friend Merina got married on the 29 May. She was a beautful bride. Merina had several bridesmaid's but the maid of honor spot was held for Meridith. What a special honor she did for Meridith. About a week or two before the wedding we found out she had a knot webpage and on her knot it said taht Meridith was her Maid of Honor. I know they were best friends and would still be. When we walked into the place where they were having the reception there was this beautiful table set up in Meridith's honor. It said Maid of Honor and had their picture they had taken at Picture People just before they graduated. The most wonderful saying about her. It took all of us by surprise. I think sometimes we forget that others have felt such a loss with out Meridith, and Merina would be one of those people. I was not here when Rachel and Aaron told Merina but I know that had to be a very difficult person to tell. Merina's wedding was all about Princess's and she certainly looked like a princess. Meridith meet TJ before she died and she liked him, he is such a nice young man. I am so very happy for Merina and TJ and Kenzie their little girl. Congrats and I love you guys.

A little Late Kimmie's birthday Pictures

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Kimmie's Birthday

Kimmie had a birthday on Friday May 28. Happy birthday to her. We went as a family to La Familia for dinner, it was great. The food there is wonderful. We had a great time. We collectively got her a Kindle. She is an avid reader (great job) and I thought what better gift that that. So thanks to my Mom, Aaron, Kim's parents and Rick and I, I think she was just a little surprised. One day she was looking at the paper at the Sony e reader. I didn't really know much about them, so I asked her, but sometimes my asking questions gives away my thoughts. But it was fun anyway. She has been good for Aaron, she is the best aunt to Haylee and Calan. She plays with them and loves them dearly. Our start with Kim was rocky but she hung in there and I am glad she is a part of our family. We did take pictures but they are in Rick's camera in his car soo pictures to come later.

Another year has gone by

Another May 12 has come and gone. Life does go on, maybe not as we would like it to be but as it is. We all miss her, our children always come to the cemetery together, I think sometimes they worry about me, but I'm ok. Do I like it NO but I know where she is. Natalie sent me an email Saturday and I think John said it the best. I am thankful for their friendship, for their love they have for Meridith. She loved them lots. When she would come home from California she would tell me and Rick how great they were. Here is what Natalie and John wrote, how comforting their words are: Natalie wrote The time and the years are passing and yet we still so vividly remember Meridith and how awesome she is. She is so greatly missed by so many. What a great impact she had on so many lives including ours. I love Meridith and I just wanted you to know that I an thinking of her and of you my dear friends. John wrote: The years pass away but the memory of the loved one remains. The void that's left in our lives cannot be filled. However there is hope that rises with us every morning. We know separation is temporary. Over there just beyond the horizon, a sweet reunion is planned by a loving Heavenly Father. Then, tears will be dried, sorrow will melt away, and the sweet joy of holding once again the one so cherished and longer for will fill the heart with unspeakable joy that will never wane away. The God of Love will see that we will be one again and full of the thrill of eternal union. We shall not want for anything for our hearts will overflow with continuously renewed light and life. On this special day, our hearts join with you to remember and celebrate together the life a remarkable young maiden, Meridith, who briefly came among us and graces us with the sweetness of her pure spirit. With Love Natalie and John. What comforting words they wrote and how I cherish that knowledge.

Planting Flowers

When we built this house we (I) never dreamed about how much work the flower beds would take. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers, l love the colors, but I hate the weeding. I didn't think about how long it would take to pull them and how fast they would grow back. Haylee and Papa picked out 4 flats of flowers a few weekends ago and we planted them. Since then I bought another flat and then Haylee, Papa and I picked up 3 more flats. And we atill have more to buy and plant. Thats the beauty of flowers. Haylee and Papa and Uncle Brett, planted the garden. So far we have tomatoes and onions and carrots. We have peppers to plant today. Life jsut seems really busy to me. Working full time is tough. I love my job though, but sometimes I miss the part time hours. The spring has been really beautiful, I love Texas wild flowers, the blue bonnets were wonderful this year. I love the hill sides when they are in bloom.

Youth Conference

Youth Conference was quite amazing this year. We started planning last year, actually last summer. We talked about what we wanted and how we might be able to accomplish our goals. We wanted the Book of Mormon to become real to them that they might gain a testimony. It turned out well. We were going to Sid Richardson a scout camp and we were spending 2 night there. Its quite a task for 160 plus kids. We put kids in tribes and had couples to be the parents. We started with Lehi leaving Jerusalem (President Vigil Marcia, Brett, Andrew Amon and another young man (I didn't know who he was, I didn't get a good look at him) We then left and drove for about 1 hours to Sid Richardson. The kids walked down to camp (kinds steep and rough for cars) Where they meet back in their tribes and then go ready to go to bed. Girls in one camp area and guys in another. It was cold that night. I took a blanket and sheet but no sleeping bag, I didn't think I would get cold.....BUT I did. I had to go the bathroom n the middle of the night..you guessed it port-a-potties...not my favorite. Mostly I didn't want to get out from under the covers. Finally I did and then I put my sweat shirt on and it wasn't too bad. Got up the next morning and there were kids there with NO coats... Brett and Brittany were there. It was good to see them and see how the lids interacted with them. Gave my sweat shirt to someone that morning because it was COLD.. but it did warm up really fast. We had many vignettes. Each ward was given something to do. Laban and the brass plates, King Benjamin, the tree of life, Ama and Abinadi, Helaman and the stripling warriors. Samuel the Lamanite. We were gong to spend the night again, but the Lord had other plans...the weather it was to get really cold that night. So we came home that night. I am so grateful for a nice warm bed. We had planned on getting the kids up really early and showing a part of the testament, but with plans changing we meet back at the church for lunch and showed the entire movie The Testament. I feel that the reason we came back home was so that the kids could see the entire movie. It was very moving for many of us. The final battle was played out in the gym, after they made swords and shields. As I stood and watched I wondered how they must have felt, not knowing who they were fighting against. Brother against brother, sister against sister, they were just fighting. Evil had become the normal. I don't want to live in that type of condition. Though I feel we may. It then ended with Joseph Smith getting the plates.
Listening to the kids testimonies the next day I knew that the right decision had been made we needed the entire movie, we needed to feel the chaos that they must have felt. We also had snow that Saturday night. What a eventful weekend. I am thankful for the opportunity of being involved with the youth. They help me stay grounded, when I feel like life is spinning out of control I get this glimpse of how these young women testimonies are growing and how they strengthen me, they seem to know when I need it.

Forgiveness

I have thought about this topic quite a bit lately, for many reasons. I don't even know where to begin because its so personal to me. I have always known that you must forgive everyone. Many years ago my ex brother in law, during a summer visit for my niece, kept my niece. He was not my favorite person because of the way he treated my sister. Terri is a very kind hearted person. But Bobby kept Cindy and forced my mom to pay huge legal bills to get her back, which we finally did. I couldn't understand why the Lord would allow him to do that, until one day driving I was listening to a primary tape in the car about Prayer and I realized that even IF I prayed to have her here, (if) he prayed for her to stay there than who would Heavenly Father listen to. SO as much as I hated what Bobby was doing to my mother and sister and even my family (I was traveling back and forth to Austin alot) I would need to forgive him. I can honestly say that I did. It doesn't mean that we are best buds but I don't hope he gets run over or anything like that. Forgiveness is a hard thing for some.

A few months ago another niece did something that was legally and morally wrong to Brett on more than one occasion, without going into detail, it has caused some hard feelings amongst cousins. I don't agree with what she did, and if I were to do anything like that at work I would lose my job, with out question and no chance to say I'm sorry or try to make amends. Brett and I have discussed this several times and he said that he has forgiven her, even though they have not spoken in months. Which I understand, you can forgive someone, even if the opportunity does not present it self to speak to or be around that person. Even if you had the opportunity to be around them, you may not want to put yourself out there to be hurt again. Just before Brett and Brittany moved back here another niece told Brett (I'm paraphrasing) "You out of all people should understand forgiveness, since you need to be forgiven by everyone". Not only was that hurtful, but totally uncalled for. What makes her think that SHE needs to forgive Brett or anyone for that matter to say "Brett I forgive you for driving and for Meridith dying." When Meridith and Brett were in Mexico and they were in the car accident, it was just that an ACCIDENT. I guess for me I know that it was the Lord's plan, does it mean I don't miss her OF Course I DO. When Meridith died Grandma Wade (who is the most wonderful woman I know) gave us a book by Spencer W Kimball "Tragedy or DESTINY?" One of the best books I have read. I helped me to understand many things. Rachel has a really hard time with Meridith's death, she works on it but still struggles with Brett being the one driving. I have on may occasions thought about Meridith's last year here. In about April 2005 Meridith and Kyndall were in a car accident. A car T-boned her on Boat Club Road by the Race Track gas station, she had her window down which allowed her not to be hurt otherwise she could have suffered severe head trauma. Kyndall was with her and they both were fine. After moving to Idaho, Cherie and Meridith drove down to Provo to see some friends while driving Meridith had a blow out, the tire completely fell apart she pulled over and they were fine, but Cherie was with her. Not her time yet. In march driving back from Colorado she and Lon, my nephew, and his fiance almost hit a deer. Not their time. I have thought about this along with forgiveness because people sometimes are mean about what they say and how they say it. Maybe they think that they need justification to feel that way. How sad it is, what is forgiveness, how can we live our life here and not forgive and then expect the Lord to forgive us? He can't and maybe won't. I know that through the atonement we all can be forgiven no matter what...but we must do our part and forgive too. President Uchtdorf gave a talk entitle Point of Safe Return. He makes this statement Are There Points of No Return in Our Lives?
Satan, “the father of all lies” (2 Nephi 2:18), “the father of contention” (3 Nephi 11:29), “the author of all sin” (Helaman 6:30), and the “enemy unto God” (Moroni 7:12), uses the forces of evil to convince us that this concept applies whenever we have sinned. The scriptures call him the “accuser” because he wants us to feel that we are beyond forgiveness (see Revelation 12:10). Satan wants us to think that when we have sinned we have gone past a “point of no return”—that it is too late to change our course. In our beautiful but also troubled world, it is a sad reality that this attitude is the source of great sorrow, grief, and distress to families, marriages, and individual lives.
Satan tries to counterfeit the work of God, and by doing this he may deceive many. To make us lose hope, feel miserable like himself, and believe that we are beyond forgiveness, Satan might even misuse words from the scriptures that emphasize the justice of God, in order to imply that there is no mercy. Satan is the father of all contention, and contention causes such discord. I have notice if you are mad at someone, anything and everything that person does frustrates you even more. I am not in the least perfect, I make mistakes all the time. I know that I have hurt and frustrated many people during my life time. Some I know about and try to fix those, some I may not know about, I may not be able to fix that. What I do know is that we are required to forgive everyone and holding grudges and being mean is not the way to do it. We certainly want Heavenly Father to be forgiving of us. Christ came here and paid the ultimate price, he didn't say I am going to forgive only the people I like or just a few people, when he suffered, he suffered for ALL of us. He paid the ultimate price, his life so that we might return and live with them again. And our families. I want to live my life so that I can return to live with them again. I want to have the blessings promised to me. Does that mean I am perfect, No but I am trying the best I can. Will I make mistakes YES, but I can and will repent, because Christ paid the way for me.

So many thoghts.

Life has been crazy lately with lots going on. We have youth conference in 3 weeks. And we are in crunch time to make sure everything gets done. We have awesome Young Men and Young Women leaders. I am very blessed to work with them. Our theme this year Moroni's Quest. Our wish this year for youth conference is for testimonies to be formed and strengthened. I think of my own testimony of the Book of Mormon and I am grateful that I do have one. I am thankful that it is strengthened everyday. Last year I read the Book of Mormon 2 times with in about 6 months. That was a record for me. But it gave me such a different outlook and understanding. We will be praying for NO rain in March because we will have yucky conditions since we will be camping out. I am thankful of the time frame in which I was born. I am thankful for showers and washers and dryers all the luxuries of life that we do enjoy. I appreciate all the pioneers did for us, but I am ever so grateful that I don't live in that era.

Pride

What happens when pride gets in our way? Last fall I interviewed for a new job. Its actually what we call a TDY position. Its in our training department. Its has been an interesting ride so far. When I was first approached about putting in for the position, I thought no way...I'm quite happy coming in working my 4-5 hours and going home. I don't do drama at work, so many people don't do their jobs, because they are so worried about others. So back to the position..I filled out the paperwork and they called me that Wednesday or Thursday for an interview on Friday. On Thursday night I had a Stake Auxiliary Training meeting that I talked about our experience in Nauvoo when we took Meridith's name through. So Friday Morning Rick is driving me to work, we were going somewhere after work(I can't remember now where or what) but as we drove in I had decided that I probably didn't want the job. What I had to prepare was to teach the people that I am interviewing with something. I told Rick, well I didn't really know what to teach them, about the temple wasn't really a good idea, we decided to talk about baking cookies with Haylee. And the steps that we do and if we are to teach someone something we need to give them tools to succeed and then check back with them. At American all interviews are in groups..every time I have interviewed I have had as few as 2 others and as many as 8-10. I have sat in on panel interviews to decided if we are going to hire people.So as I am sitting there I'm thinking, "What are you doing?" the other people probably want this job lots more than you do. They asked all sorts of questions about experiences we have had...well serving in the church has given me so many opportunities and knowledge and life experiences, plus having kids....anyone that has had them understand YOU learn a lot. SO I got called in for a 2nd interview with 2 different people than the first interview. I had to write a bulletin that would be posted for all agents in DFW to read when new things come out. Long story I know, but here is where PRIDE comes in. There were 3 people down in training and they had gotten pretty comfortable in their job, and since I didn't get into anyone else's business they did their own thing. They were not working well with the manager and someone asked how could they be in training, and then they realized that it actually is a TDY (temporary duty) and some had been down there for 10 years... a long time. Since they didn't want to do anything different their manager decided to open the job up for others..hence I put in for the job. The 3 that were down there decided to be mean and vindictive, they shredded papers, lesson materials and who knows what else. The manger was going to phase them out over probably the next few shifts bids which sometimes last 6 months..they decided that they would just all go at the same time. I guess they thought they were totally indispensable..well no one is. I was offered the job and I at first told her let me think about it. I know some would think I was crazy.. I have a set schedule with weekends off. But I like my job, I like working with people. I try to make a difference. I accepted and then they offered Teri another agent the position to, they were hiring 3 new instructors. It was probably another month before they offered the job to Wayne. Ok, with a little of the background out of the way. One of old instructors has tried her best to make us look bad. I know that after all this has happened she realized that she shot her self in the foot. She thoughtany one else would not be able to do her job, but we have...all the agents who come down to training tell us they are so glad we are down there, they the department is so much better. The other instructors kept the door locked and closed at all times, the room was small cubicles, and it was dirty. We have opened it up and made it a happy place to come to. But they have not stopped trying to make our lives miserable. Anything we have learned we have done it on our own.. they gave us NOT 1 ounce of help. We yesterday, they pushed a little to far... actually one lied about whether this one person is qualified to teach a jetbridge class, she actually trained him and had him help her alot over the past several years. So she thought we were going to fall apart, well she didn't' know that I have been trained by the top trainer and an certified to teach. Her pride has so gotten into her that she is so bent to destroying any and all who she can. Because she has been with American for so long, she had lots of buds all around. She enlists the help of some others. Other big bosses have told her friends to stop and leave the training department alone. What I find is that sometimes we back ourselves in a corner and instead of realizing that we made a mistake and change whats happening we chose to make it worse and we get mad at ourselves but we take it out on others. I think had this lady, changed her attitude life would be better for her, instead she is making it worse and worse. I have lost all respect for her professionally. She had been a ok instructor, but her character leaves lots to be desired. Pride is a deadly sin, we can become engulfed in it before we realize it. Its amazing how the scriputres teach us so much about pride and how deadly it is. In the Book of Mormon so often bad things happened when they became so prideful. How long do we wait, what has to happen, before we take a look and realize the Lord's hand in our lives, or where it should be.

Youth Conference

We are actively planning youth conference. I am so glad to know Heavenly Father gives us help. We are excited about it and yet I am a worrier. So many things we need to get done and right now the time is ticking by very fast. It will be great.

What happens when we let our guard down

Yesterday was our home ward, ward conference. Some may ask our home ward?? Well being in the singles ward, in another stake has been quite different. The Young Single Adults are amazing, we have some really great single adults. They have some great testimonies. What a blessing they are. In our ward conference our stake president Hadley has felt a need to focus on families. What an inspiration, Sister Julie B Beck spoke with past Aug 09 about families to the seminaries and institute. What an amazing talk. She talks about how Satan is really working on the youth and members to not focus on families. How the family is being threatened: marriage rates are declining, the age of marriage is rising, divorce rate are rising children are being born out of wedlock, abortion is increasing legal around the country. People are putting more importance on careers than families. Our young adults lack faith, faith n their ability to be successful in families. They don't see is as something that the Lord will bless them and help them accomplish it. They distrust their own moral strength and the moral strength of their peers. Temptation is so fierce they aren't sure the can be successful in keeping covenants. I have seen this in many young people that I know. Satan is so strong we can not let our guards down... NOT even for 1 second. Satan is not content on not getting youth to marry, he is seeking to destroy those marriages that are trying to stay faithful.. We can not for 1 minute let our guards down.. Satan will be right there to step in. I so worry about this. It has such an eternal consequence that it so worries me.